Please wait ……..Iam busy being busy

The collective and individual busy-ness of Indians at their workplaces leads me to believe that we are the most industrious nation on earth. The syndrome of busy-ness that prevails among corporates is topped by the busy-bee babus or the mandarins who stride along the government corridors of power.  Appearing to be busy and making a hapless visitor wait is so deeply entrenched in our work and business culture – it is now assumed to signal not-so-subtly one’s worth and importance.

Now film stars and other celebrities are notorious for the waiting games they force others to play, which is attributed to starry airs and bloated egos to match their current box office appeal. Our netas and politicians are no laggards at this either – in fact they perhaps lead the race today as the power they wield is directly proportional to the wait time between confirmed appointments and the actual meetings.

Office juniors waiting to meet their superiors are routinely made to cool their heels well beyond the appointed time. As the young executive is about to enter, there is frantic signalling involving much arm waving to request for a wait time of another 15 minutes, half hour or even a hour. Why ? Simply because the senior is enacting a well- perfected role - of a super busy boss, inundated with work beyond the comprehension and intellectual abilities of the lower ranks. Of course, such urgent work is also confidential and exceedingly critical which only boss brains can process. The likely reality is that he is actually yelling at his broker to act on shares for which he just got some inside dope while simultaneously checking his housing society’s Whatsapp group to monitor the progress of the flaming row that just broke out among the committee members. Worthy pastimes these …. after all work-life balance has to be maintained.  

By this time, what with all the wild gesticulation and animated phone conversation, the junior is suitably impressed by the managerial abilities of the boss and makes a mental note to emulate as soon as an opportunity presents itself. He makes a note to himself “maybe, when that peon walks in to clean my work space tomorrow, I will make him wait and pretend to be on an important call”. But that little act does not always have a happy and impressive ending – for sadly the peon couldn’t care less for the charade and would simply see it as his cue to flee never return to his unfinished task!

There’s another perennial favourite at workplaces  -  an extension of the “please wait Iam busy being busy” syndrome –is the officious “Iam traveling, I will be traveling, I was traveling …. said in the best manner of a martyr-to-the-official-cause tone, in all possible tenses.  This is a clever ruse that lets one off the hook for unduly delayed action and much else that is left undone. This works like a charm on most office colleagues, particularly the newer entrants who are easy to impress and bestows a certain status to those who utter this familiar phrase. 

After all it stands to reason that those who travel frequently must be high fliers on various missions to save the world. And therefore all the lapses, or what in sterner language is termed as dereliction of duty is waved away with a sympathetic nod of understanding mixed with awe. 

So, if Belgundi or Guwahati is your destination, you simply say “Iam traveling” but if  you’re lucky enough to be actually winging it to Chicago or the Cayman Isles, just slip it in a seemingly casual manner – “Oh how unfortunate! I won’t be around to attend Sam’s farewell party because I’ve been ordered to visit that client again in Detroit. It’s quite a bore you know”. This is possibly the best way to impress your colleagues, friends, exes, landlord or gym mates.  

And then there are the fringe benefits of posts on Facebook and Insta. But here caution needs to be exercised to make sure the pictures reflect the all-too brief leisure moments of a stressed executive who’s facing untold hardships in the course of outstation travel.  Who knows, the boss or the HR Head might be snooping on your posts.

What if your job in reality involves only a daily home-office commute crawling in traffic and still wish to avoid meetings and e-mails that are piling up in your in box faster than dust that settles on your table? How do you still get away with “I’m traveling” and give yourself the airs of a travel weary executive? This too is easy, provided this magic mantra is dished out judiciously to audiences who have no means or desire to cross-verify your claim.

So there you have it – the busy honcho who’s seemingly doing all the heavy lift at the workplace is not all that busy. And never intends to be, till perhaps the next appraisal time comes round.